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Hold That Thought

Tomatoes in the North


My dream of salsa, drastically reduced

This week I've been thinking about the ways people push for outcomes, especially when that goes beyond what's possible, reasonable, or easy. Here are three things on that theme to help turn overthinking into expert thinking:

  1. “Like squeezing a dry lemon, there is only bitter disappointment when we push for outcomes that can never be.” A very short story from my experience of tomatoes in the North
  2. Sometimes people inadvertantly push for things by tiny degrees. If you're sensitive to this, you might notice the weird or awkward vibe shift in the room. Instead of spiralling into overthinking, here's how to be the thermostat, not the thermometer. By author Lara Hogan
  3. “I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.” — In putting this newsletter together, I learned that people often misattribute this quote to Keanu Reeves. It makes sense why; the quote conveys an unattachment to outcomes. And his way of being seems to embody that, too.

Extra thoughts…

I worked really hard to make this week's content fit the theme I had in mind. In the end, I realised this was its own meta-example of pushing for an outcome that wasn't going to work out the way I had imagined. And in this way, it does.

The sad tomato story was part of my final assignment for a 7-week writing course. I'll say more about another time, as it isn't launched yet — I've been her beta tester, trading my 3-in-1 expertise for her writing know-how. It's been incredibly transformative for both of us, which is exactly the outcome we want.

In another world, I finished watching Haunting of Hill House and started the 110% Emotional Drama that is This is Us. It has many perfect examples of people pushing for things the way they want them, well-past all reasonable boundaries and often with entitlement that's more than eye-rolling.

For example, in a S2 episode, a character wants to prevent a loved one from receiving a delivery because they are compelled to spare them from feeling the emotion it will bring. They bully their way into an Amazon distribution warehouse, spending the day combing the ailes and disrupting several people's work to be the unsung hero and intercept a package. It's the stuff of consequence-free fantasies. Absolutely ridiculous and, like a gripping horror, I can't stop watching.

What examples of outcome-pushing (or outcome-unattachment) come to mind for you?

Kim

PS. For this week's unthinking link, here's a cozy & creepy infographic on the scents of spooky season


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Kim Witten, PhD – Coach, Consultant, Experience Designer

Hello! My name is Kim Witten and I’ve spent four decades overthinking absolutely everything. I’ve turned this ability into a super skill to get stuff done and now my mission is to help others do the same. Read more about my journey

Staney Brae, Dunrossness, Shetland ZE2 9JG
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Hold That Thought

Helping overwhelmed creatives and small business owners turn overthinking into expert thinking…and action! 3 useful things every Thursday to gain clarity, get more done, and feel great about it.

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